Morning Rant

6:00 am Alarm goes off. Husband and I are working out every morning at 6:30. Well the attempt is being made anyway. Have been doing well, are in week 2. Due to an early trip to DC he is unable to today. Due to a fried egg topped large cheeseburger, shoestring fries and a glass of wine, I am unable to. (see my favorite bistro: www.bluetalonbistro.com) I instead will sleep in, which is almost as decadent as the cheeseburger. I have to note that Tony, the powerhouse fitness instructor specifically said DO NOT EAT A CHEESEBURGER. Aaah well, I am paying the price. No worries Tony, I plan on attending power yoga this evening at the gym.

6:35. I hear the first "Mommmmmyyyyyy" of what promises to be a whiny mommy filled day. HOW do I know this, you ask? What can I say, its a gift. That and 3 has only just gone to bed at 11:00pm! Are you kidding me, I think as I wrench my eyes open. Hubby is in shower, no luck there. Well he is lucky anyway.

I yell back, I am sleeping. Come into bed with me. It is too early for your shows.
He comes in my room, and is not interested in any snuggle time.
3: NOOOOO. Me want hot tea!
This is possibly the only child in the US, born of American parents who has a required 3 cups of English tea per day. This family is nuts.
I bring him downstairs, and now we are both cranky.
Drop him off at the couch and with one eye open assemble hot tea. (yes, it is decaf, I am not completely out of my mind. Yet.)
Teapot, microwave, fill cup halfway with milk, slight teaspoon sugar. hand it to child as I pass couch. tell him I am going back up to bed. please enjoy the next episode of whatever mind numbing show nick jr has to offer. Oswald? Ack. honestly I can't remember what was on. He nods, already slipping into his hot tea coma.

Crawl back in to bed. Hubby is out of shower, says I hear something downstairs, is Holden playing your computer? No, I grunt, I brought him down. Did he get hot tea? (that question alone tells you we have lost our minds. We don't ever say tea. We always say HOT tea. It follows someone would ask if he wants one lump or two, or if he raises his pinky while drinking.) Yesssszzzzzz.

7:25 Drag my butt to shower. Trying to drown/burn this sleepy feeling with some very hot water. Door opens and scares the crap out of me. It is 3. COME DOWN STAIRS. WANT HOT TEA. I jump out of my skin. And breathe deep as not to react in the way I SO want to. In my best mommy voice I say, Yes darling, I will be downstairs as soon as I am done in the shower. Then I will make you some hot tea. I smile, as I remember that I should reflect the love I feel for said child in my face. Then he will reflect it back and become a "whole" individual. Here is hoping anyway.

7:29 (just a guess really) Door to shower opens again. Again startles me, although you would think I would be getting accustomed to it. This time it is not 3, but hubby. Oh Honnnnnneeeeyyyy...I offer a soapy kiss goodbye and finish washing my hair.

So lets now fast forward to the part of the morning that has left me popping vitamin B, as my mother calls it, the stress buster vitamin. You would think that these little things, the minutia of motherhood would roll off your back, well news flash, THEY DON'T.

Holden it is 8:55. You have five minutes left on the computer. I am setting the timer. We have to go to school.
NOOOOOO. Me want stay with you! and Me want to go work with daddy! and Me want to hug papa! NOOOOOO schoooooooolllllll!
heh heh. not a chance kid.

Ella, honey finish up we have to get going for school.
This is a good movie, huh? (She has crazy eyes btw)
This is the today show honey.
I love this show. Do you think it is better than the Princess and the Frog? As she asks she licks the inside of her elbow.
I raise an eyebrow. what are you licking?
Yogurt, she says matter of factly.
Oh, I say and nod.
I think I like the Princess and the Frog better. and then she licks her shoulder.
You have yogurt on your shoulder?
She nods, yes. I do. Thats okay though, right mom? Sometimes kids get yogurt on their shoulders.
Um, yeah, I guess they do. sigh.

Mom, how does my brain know that I want to move my arm. Or that I want to move it again somewhere else.
Um, I am still on the yogurt question.

Lets get in the car!
Oh crap, one car seat is still in the back. Holden's shoes are nowhere to be found. Ella keeps saying, I am a good girl Mom. Holden is whiny. I am not. Thanks Ella but that is hardly helpful right now. Try to move the seats so Holden, who is lately prone to colossal meltdowns over well, everything, won't have one. A morning without meltdown makes for easier drop off into his classroom. Moving seat as Holden's head is completely up my butt. Trying to latch it and begging him to back up at the same time. Ella continues her self evaluation. I bang my head on the ceiling. Get Holden in seat. Mommy want hot tea. Ha! No way babe we are on the way to school. Get in front seat after almost falling out of the side door as my foot gets caught in...oh who the hell knows. Throw car in reverse. Do not realize back is up. Bang loudly (and may I say this is not a new concept, just look at the back of my minivan) into door. ACK! Forward. Close back. Try to remove shoulders from ears. MOMMMMMMM. Cannot identify child who has just called me, or refuse to anyway. Instead I say, NO MORE TALKING!

Drop off goes relatively smoothly until I realize that in the commotion I have forgotten snack/project bags. Head home, pick them up, head back to school. Of course children are assembled in hallway and 3 has eagle eyes. My plan to avoid him seeing me: fail. Luckily he is engrossed in a story (Jesus is in our hearts, I know is on the tip of his tongue). He is across the room, unable to get up to hug me and settles for blowing a kiss.

Luckily, I caught it.