36. Married 6 years now. And still constantly surprised at the tlc it takes to maintain a marriage. Okay maintain is only the least of it. I certainly don't want to just walk the treadmill, I want the awesome. I reiterate, 36, married 6 years now. So the awesome, well it isn't as you (the collective) would normally define it. For me the awesome is knowing he's got my back, he'll hold my hand, he'll kiss my lips, and know what to do and when...it can change so quickly, he's got to be on his toes to keep up. It is our own personal brand of awesome and only we truly know what it is.
So the attempt, over the last few years is to align my thinking toward recognizing that marriage is it's own living breathing life form. I should, shouldn't I? Give it water, sunlight, nurture it, praise it, talk to it so it can grow, love it and give it space to stretch here and there, but keep it very close, too. It seems too quickly lost if you don't.
Why am I thinking about this? Lots of time alone while my significant other has been hard at work, and this weekend, hard at play. That is the source of this blog at its heart. I need some place to put the spillage so I can exist and handle the rest. I have always needed that.
Back to the tlc part. Keeping marriage solid, intimate and soulful is not easy. Now add kids, job, house to clean, family, blah blah blah. Even harder.
I guess the real reason I am thinking about this is as we get older we see people navigating their marriages in very different ways. Ways that give me pause and make me wonder, when bad choices are regular occurrences, do they not seem so bad to the people who witness them? Does bad behavior act like a virus? Can it get on you? Like a stain on your shirt?
This is a blog about ME. It is going to be indulgent, frustrated, stressed, ranty, funny, honest and hopefully interesting to someone other than myself. It is a way to express my longing to be a better everything: mom, wife, person, designer, friend, etc. Read on.
Ahhh. The elusive balance of kids, marriage, work, and dare I say it - personal time. What I've discovered is that at this stage in my life, it's less about the visceral - what I want, and more about the intellectual - what I know to be most right. And while somedays that's a really hard pill to swallow, all I can do is try to be the best version of myself for everyone. Even if that often translates into a particular brand of self I barely recognize.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon.
Hang in there
Wow. Hey Grace. I have missed you!
ReplyDeleteMe too. I'd like to talk.
ReplyDelete